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Wednesday 7 December 2011

Facebook post

Something slightly different for today I watched a programme earlier today called "My child's not perfect" and was inspired to write a rather long facebook post. This is that post:

"My child's not perfect" Just watched this programme on replay after a friend recomended it. It's about time people were made more aware of children with special needs. They are not naughty kids nor do they need a good slap to straighten them out. They need love, patience, and understanding. A lot of people will watch the programme and have sympathy for the child and their family and tomorow will forget everything they watched the night before. I and several of my friends will not because we live with this every day. Here is the truth of Autism I am regulary physicaly abused by my son Brad so are his 2 brothers. Brad has even nearly been arrested for his violence towards us. I am called all the names under the sun usaly something along the lines of you stupid fat ugly bitch, I hate you I wish you would die, you are the worst mother in the world. Then comes the remorse for these actions I hate myself, Im the worst son in the world, I want a new brain, I want to kill myself, someone get a gun and shoot me. You have no idea how hard it is to hear such things from your 13 year old son whom you love more than life itself. No idea how hard it is to have to physicaly restrain your child to prevent him from hurting himself and others and yes I have had to do this in public before now. None of this is Brads fault he did not ask to be born this way and I know for sure he hates being autistic, he hates being different to his peers, he hates being stared at in the street, and he hates being abused by the very children he should be out playing with. My son has been called freak, weirdo, retard, inbreed, simple, thicko, knob, told to fuck off, piss off, get stuffed, go away. He has been mugged preventing him from going to our local shop alone any more. He has been exposed at by children where we live. This is not limited to children I have found adults to be the worst offenders when it comes to verbal abuse. Just 2 days ago a young girl in the shop was staring at Brad because he was doing one of his tics Brad asked her very polietly " please stop staring at me I dont like it " only to recieve a load of verbal abuse from the girls mother about not being nasty to girls and if he did not want people to stare at him he should stop being such a freak. What about you teaching your daughter not to stare at people who are different. Im damn sure if Brad had been in a wheelchair and asked the same thing he would have got nothing but sympathy from the mother. How I have kept my hands to myself over the years is beyond me. I have lived with Autism for nearly 14 years now and am now going through it all over again with my youngest son Brandon. I am not telling you all this because I want sympathy far from it I hate it when people pity us save your pity for someone who needs it because for all the bad times we go through we also have some pretty darn great times and even moments of clarity where Brad is almost "normal" what ever that is. I am sharing all this in the hope that it will educate people and make people think twice before they jump in with their nasty comments and torrent of abuse. The next time you see a child being "naughty" in the street stop and think maybe they are not being naughty at all maybe they have an underlying condition MAKING them behave that way. Rather than mock, judge and make comments on what a useless mother and naughty child they are offer to help. Hold their shoping or watch their other children so they are free to give the time and attention that child needs to calm down. Ask them about their childs condition instead of speculating I know for a fact if someone came up to me and asked me about it I would gladly tell them everything they want to know. That is why im sharing all this more awarness needs to raised about these beautifull special children why should they suffer due to others ignorance. To my special little boys you may not be perfect but I love you just the way you are xx xx xx

Much Love
Claire xx xx xx

Monday 5 December 2011

Warning: This is going to be a long post lol

I have not blogged for quite some time as I have been really busy with my volunteer work so this is going to be a rather long post lol. I have to say Kel the lady I have been helping to organise her home has in fact become a really good friend. We have been seeing a lot of each other and we have become firm friends now. On saturday I did the xmas bizarre at my son Ben's school Kel came along to lend a hand and I have to say she was great. I dont think I would have made half the sales I did if it was not for Kel's amazing ability to sell. I was also lucky enough that Karen my best friend looked after Brad and Brandon for the weekend so that I was able to do the bizarre. Brad and Brandon are my two sons with autism and taking them to an over crowded bizarre where I am trying to sell items would be an impossibility. With autism in mind I found this great picture on google I wanted to share when I saw it I was struck by how true the words are.

                      

                             These are just 2 of the homemade cards I took to sell at the bizarre.



I was asked by a friend who also happens to be an amazingly talented artist if I could take some of her art work with me and in return she would drop us off and pick us up saving me the cost of taxi fairs. When I went round to see the work I fell in love with one of her pieces and just had to have it. Of course I was lucky enough to get it at mates rates but even at full price it would have been a bargain at £20.


If anybody who reads this blog would like the artists details please leave me a comment with your email address and I will gladly send you her contact details. Whilst I am not an artist myself I do appreciate good art the thing I love about this contempory piece is you can see what ever you want to see in it. Every body sees something different no to views of the same piece of art are identicle I find that quite amazing and intresting. The bizarre went well and I made £60 not bad for 2 hours. After the bizarre I decided to take Ben to mcdonalds as a treat for being so good and patient while I was running my stall. I also wanted to take a look at a new store that has opened selling a great range of items from food to toys, from plants to xmas decorations, from toiletries to pet goods all at discounted prices. Wow I was in heaven I could have spent all day and a whole heap of money in there so much stuff at such great prices. Luckly I had my little concience with me (Ben) who I had told before we went in DO NOT let mummy spend to much money in here lol. I was able to reason with him on the following items



The 2 xmas tea light holders cost just £1.39 each and the shoping trolley was a snip at £8.99. There is a logic behind the trolley which allowed me to make such an extravagent purchase. I often go into town to visit the library and buy items that are on special offer in my local supermarket I also like to visit the charity shops and the cheap shop as I call it. Although I walk into town I nearly always get a taxi home due to being loaded up with all these knock down priced goodies. This usaly costs me around £4  this shoping trolley will now make it possible for me to walk home as well saving me £4 every time I go shoping so in theory the trolley will pay for itself in no time. When we got home I was thrilled to see that the book I had ordered a few days previously had arrived. It is called the moneyless man and is written by Mark Boyle a lovely guy who runs my local freeconomy community he also happens to be a friend of Kel's although I did not know this at the time I purchased the book. Mark decided to conduct an experiment and see if he could live for one whole year without money and when I say no money I mean NO MONEY. He lived in a caravan in a farms field in return for working for them 3 days a week, he got his food from growing his own, foraging, and skipping also known as dumpster diving in the US. This guy even managed to make it home to Ireland for xmas on no money what so ever. It is an amazing insight into how over rated money really is and the levels of consumerism and waste that go on in our country today. I have almost finished the book but will be re reading it as there are some great tips in there for saving money. If you like me are a frugalist I strongly recommend you have a read of this book all the profits from the book are donated to a charity whose aim is to set up the first real life freeconomy community.


Some times having autistic children is bloody hard work the fights the squabbles and the arguments magnified by 10 than that of "normal" siblings squabbles so when I get the odd moment like the one below I like to capture it to remind myself when times get tough that there are good times in this crazy autistic life myself and the boys lead.


Today has been busy for me Ben had an optitions appointment at 9.30am he has been getting headaches quite a bit recently and I wanted to check if it was because he needed glasses. He does need a mild pair of glasses but the optition said he thinks it sounds like migranes as opposed to the need for glasses so I have to take him to the doctors to get this checked out. Ben has picked a lovely pair of specs which I will have to pick up from town some time next week. After that we did a little shopping and took a walk upto Kel's when I got to Kel's the chickens had laid a fair few eggs and as she was not going to be there for the next week she offered them to me. Never one to turn down a freebie I gratefully accepted and will be using these in some baking I hope to do this week. Over the next week I will be focusing on my home and family and spending some time finishing off making the family's xmas presents. This year all the adults are getting homemade gifts whether they like it or not lol. To finish off this post I thought you may like to see our xmas tree it is the same tree and same decorations we have had for the past 3 years Ben and I put it up today and I think it looks fab.

Much Love
Claire xx xx xx